THE SATANIC MECHANIC RE-OPENS

This is almost a week late, but who cares, because my comic, The Satanic Mechanic, is up and running once again! It'll update on Wednesdays.

It's a soft reboot of sorts - it contains the same characters from the original three books, plus additional ones. The setting has evolved. Relationships are different. I'm also taking a different approach to story, letting it unfold more organically. All in all I'm going to experiment more and let the story be freewheeling and the characters grow and change.

Click through to read the first page!

Destruction & Ownership & Embarassment

Thursday morning I was taking notes on everything that makes me feel ashamed, up to and including the fact that I was taking notes on everything that makes me feel ashamed. I was doing it at the suggestion of my therapist after a long discussion about where I feel certain emotions in the body, shame chief among them, and the lump it makes me try to swallow, and the hollow it forms under my ribs. I filled a page more quickly than I would care to admit.

Friday evening I was at a journal-burning party with friends, throwing old scraps of high-school era writing into a fire that was much too hot for June. I ripped out the page of Shame Notes and threw it in as well. It was satisfactory and defiant.

Now on this very pleasant Sunday I'm wishing I'd kept it, both to avoid the trouble of re-writing and so I could use it to make art. I'm working on a piece for a group show in September and while it's still nebulous in form, it is going to be about shame. I'm discovering (with no little resistance) that the only real way for me to get a handle on these feelings is to make them into something concrete and public, to say "This belongs to me in this moment, and you can look if you want to."

But of course sitting in front of the fire watching pages bloom into ash, it's easy to believe the idea that whatever you throw in will die with the embers.